Yeah sure, I’ve done drugs. Been drinking longer than some of my friends have been alive, which says I either have a problem, or I’m old, or both. Other drugs… well, pot is legal on a state level across the entire west coast and then some, and now isn’t the time to get into other things.

But the best drug I’ve taken recently… was a picture.

Not working has been hard. My last day of employment was 21 February 2020. Three weeks shy of a year, and there’s approximately a hundred percent chance I won’t work before I make it an entire year. It’ll go past that. If I’m lucky, the summer. If I’m not, it might be another year before the type of events I work are back to hiring. And while I’ve never liked to define myself by my job, it’s a big part of me because it’s taken me to some amazing places and experiences, allowed me to make some incredible friends. And some crap ones too, and some of the experiences have been absolute shite, but on the whole I’m definitely ahead on the positive/negative experiences and friends count.

Anyway. I’ve been listless. Unable to focus. Wondering what’s the point of it all, when you really get down to it? (I still miss TP). I have some friends who have been good enough to let me stay with them in deepest darkest Somerset while everything is in lockdown, and having 14 acres to roam about despondently has been good for my physical health, more or less countering the effects of all the monster munch and haribo and gin.

Part of the 14 acres are three fishing lakes. I’ve learned more about fish than I ever cared to, and more interestingly learned about the things that eat fish, which apparently is anything that can get its teeth into them. And I’d never seen a wild Kingfisher until I came here, and saw a brilliant streak of blue across the grey water back in December.

I know what it sounds like now. I know when to look for it. And last week, the day after getting a new lens for my camera cos the old one wasn’t focusing properly and I enjoy spending money even if I’m not earning anything, I heard it. Catching the blue flash from the corner of my eye, I saw it land on a blooming bullrush and start scanning the water for fish.

For ten minutes I got to snap away, while he hunted, messing with framing and getting him in different poses (I’d like to thank the fish for moving about and catching his eye). But I’m old, and things ache, and keeping it up for that long was a bit uncomfortable (the lens, perverts). I decided to move around the lake a little, see if I could get into a position that was better on my back so I wouldn’t have to stoop forward and avoid the branches between us.

Wouldn’t you know it, the little bugger spotted something, and dove at exactly that moment.

I didn’t get the dive. I didn’t get him coming out of the water. They’re bloody fast. They can dive at <checks wikipedia> 25 mph. But I managed to just about get him as he flew up to another branch, holding down the shutter and getting as many pictures as I could in the hopes that one might come out.

He ate, then darted across the lake, away from me, so I could check what I got.

When I saw it, the framing was shit, the subject was all the way at the bottom right corner. But I could tell in this photo it was a kingfisher. Most of the others were just blue blurs against green blurs, but this one seemed clear. I zoomed in, and somehow, against the odds, it was in focus. There was a fish in its beak.

I was high for an hour afterwards. Seeing the lucky shot made me grin like I haven’t in a while. I wanted more, to get more pictures, to follow the little bugger around the lakes all day. And I wanted to share it. It felt like working on a show, and being excited to see the reaction of the audience. Of hopefully making someone else smile, and appreciate it, and all those things I haven’t been able to do for the past year.

I haven’t left the house without my camera since.