I got married last night. It was a pretty rushed ceremony. And I was surprised by the guest list; there were friends there I haven't seen in years, people I wouldn't have expected to show up, and some people noticeably absent. I wasn't wearing a kilt, like I've always said I'll wear.

I actually helped set up the room for the ceremony. I know that the groom doesn't usually take a part in that, but I think I was doing it to keep myself busy. It's been less than 24 hours, but I don't remember the decor, or the colours my bride picked. We didn't have anyone in the wedding party.

After the ceremony I walked outside, wondering how I had got myself into this situation, and how I could get out of it. I almost spoke up during the ceremony, but a terrible character trait stopped me. I couldn't be the guy who leaves the bride at the altar. For some reason that, to me, is worse than getting divorced at a later date. I felt that it would have been more upsetting for her to leave there and then, stop mid-vow, than to end it after the fact. And even though I went through the ceremony barely there, wanting to be anywhere else, I remember the looks on the faces of my friends, and I'm a little disturbed by them.

To a person, they looked eager to see me married. There was a disturbing hunger to the way they watched the proceedings that didn't make me any happier about what was going on. Even the moment when my bride appeared, and they could see the look of dismay I was unable to hide, it didn't matter to them. They were there for a wedding, damnit, and it was going to go ahead regardless.

My bride. Someone I've known for years, since freshman year of college I think. I'm not sure why her, but there she was, clutching her bouquet, looking completely ambivalent about the prospect of marrying me. I've never thought of her in that way, I doubt she's ever thought of me in that way, yet there we were, binding ourselves to each other forever until I could find a reason to get unmarried.

I think it's probably a good thing I don't remember my dreams more often. If they're all as bizarre and disconcerting as last night's dream was, I'm going to start being afraid of sleep.