Yep, they didn't want my short story. Now I'm going to have to pick up a copy and see the sort of things they do use. Not because I'm bitter or pissed off- it's their publication, they can use whatever they want. I just need to learn about how to get published, and if it means maybe working on a different style, I'm open to that. I'm not going to change, just give them what they want for a bit until I can say I've been published (them as in the publishing industry, not thefirstline.com) Might even submit something for their next one, just for the hell of it. It's good practice for me to write to a deadline, because it helps me focus and actually bloody finish something. Right now I've got 8 short stories, only one of which I've done more than a first draft. I've got the beginnings of 2 novels, a first draft short screenplay, and 3 started full length screenplays. I'm completely writing for myself right now, whatever I feel like doing at the time, and that's part of the reason I'm keeping a word-count track instead of a time count.

Not that word count means what I'm doing is any good, but then a time allotment doesn't guarantee quality either. This way if I'm sitting looking at a blank screen I can do something else, and if I really feel the need to write I can do it whenever.

Anyway. Rejection. This was actually an easy rejection to take, because I feel like I had so little vested in it. Five days, three drafts, and submission. I love it when writing's like that-- the words just pick themselves out from the keyboard with almost no effort on your part. And now that they've decided they don't want it for their publication, I'm free to do with it what I will. So I am. I'm giving it a screenplay treatment right now, think it could make a great little short (bugger. I said one short up there didn't I? Make that one first draft and one in progress). Should be pretty cheap to film too, so I can actually try and get it made.

So maybe I'm over my fear of rejection. I think I might be. Does that mean I should start dating again? In five years I think I've asked out three women, all three of whom have initially said yes, but then two cancelled on me. The most recent didn't leave me feeling worthless, which is a huge step up for me. Maybe it's time to send out a few email on match.com, haven't done anything with it yet. Cos what's the worst that can happen?

Okay, so the worst that could happen is I'll meet someone, fall in love, decide to save our first time for marriage, and ten minutes before we leave the wedding reception to consumate, the world is destroyed by a meteor.

Or the worst is I could meet someone, they could end up scamming me for every penny I have and leave me destitute and with a nasty rash.

I could go on like this for hours. The point is, I think I can deal with rejection. Maybe I should go to the pub and see how many times I can get rejected in one sitting. . .